Apa pekerjaan orang macam ini? Menghubungkan kabel putus? Ah, bukan. Ini istilah yang saya pakai untuk menjelaskan middleman; seseorang yang berada di tengah, menyambungkan kabel yang terputus, diputus, atau memang belum tersambung sejak awal. Seorang teman saya pernah berkata, kurang lebih seperti ini,
Middleman is one who does everything and achieves nothing.
Kalau dihitung dari besarnya pikiran dan hasilnya, mungkin memang betul. Sebagai serorang perantara, saya harus mengenal betul pihak-pihak yang saya jembatani. Dalam penyampaian pesan pun saya juga selalu teliti sehingga apa yang harus disampaikan memang benar tersampaikan dan tidak terjadi salah paham. Selain membawa nama baik para pihak terkait, nama baik diri sendiri pun juga menjadi taruhan. Bayangkan jika saya salah mengartikan pesan dan membuat pertikaian terjadi atau semakin runcing.
Beberapa hal memang sebaiknya dikatakan sendiri, terutama hal-hal yang terkait dengan emosi. Cara individu mengartikan ungkapan emosi bisa berbagai macam dan ini yang perlu dihindari. Sulit kah? Memang. Seorang yang berpengalaman pernah melarang saya untuk menjadi perantara seperti ini.
Perantara bisa bersifat sementara atau permanen. Jarang sekali ditemukan perantara permanen. Umumnya perantara itu temporer. Ada yang bersifat penghubung dan ada pulang yang seperti petugas pos. Mereka yang seperti petugas pos tidak perlu diperjelas lagi. Mereka yang menjadi penghubung, biasanya hanya menghubungkan pihak-pihak yang terpisah saja. Setelah pihak-pihak ini terhubung, peran perantara ini bisa dikatakan usai.
What are you really doing this time, young man?
I remember the time when you said that you wanted to go opening your points of views. Really, I was ready that time to support you as long as I could. I remember one time you made decision to postpone your timing to have partner along your journey just because you wanted to pass this and that roads alone. Care to remind me again what was that for, young man?
One day you said to yourself you would be gone after graduation to another place but now look at you standing here, sitting there, giggling about this and that from the top of the tower, typing this and that codes, having today’s breakfast like you always do everyday and sometime with the same menu. Another place, you said, to be different, to have new experience, to gain more stories from other people, to live another life God has for you, you said. Really?
What now? Are you packing your old books and papers full of your own writings?
There is something about passion, several people wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Reality, that is. The universe, which shows little interest in few selected people for their passion, somehow trains them to do what they must do. This universe exists in these few people who hide their emotion and seem good at every common skill set. In this very abundant universe, they are drilled in mud and stone.
Their muscles become hard enough to knock out people in one punch. Their mind is so critic and cryptic that they are capable of processing huge amount of information, including every possibility, even though they weren’t born smart and genius. They do not have what is called luxury and time because they only have what is given. “Given the circumstances …, given the time, … ” is something usually found within their conversation.
Not that they are sad people or slave. To do what necessary is already set inside their mind. They desire something else, sometimes but universe says different. They might have accomplished several achievement people would be envious for but for them, if they were to be asked, t’was their job and they do their best.
Tears usually never come and in rest hour, they do what pleases them most: to rest in peace. A rest is something they would earn when the time comes. This is also given and if it is hasn’t been, they might never reveal their names. For them, there are thin and yet clear lines separating desire and duty. In this universe there is no such thing as pleasure or disappointment.
They always say that they do what they do and people sometimes mock them without even looking inside, which is impossible since they cover their tracks very well. They have a switch which allow them to explode and hurt everything around them and is very difficult to be used.
A fictional and legendary mentor once said, “I do what I must.” not “I do what I desire.”