Unfinished Ideas, Unstructured Writings, Unpublished Articles

Have you ever left everything you’ve been doing for years because you have some other things to do? Ideas, sketches, designs, or any personal projects you’ve been longing to pursue but don’t get the chance because you are busy with works or any other interpersonal relationships?

Inside your spare hard drives or inside a folder stranded under your table lamp or at the corner of your room or somewhere under your bed, are there a folder containing projects you found interesting back when you were young? Or a piece of paper on which you drew your first sketch, a sketch you bragged to yourself as a masterpiece? Or maybe a stack of paper on which you wrote your very first-soon-to-be book and you planned to send it to a publisher?

Friday night is always around the corner waiting to appear again. When it comes, you will be on your way home, tired of everything in past five days. When you opened the door to your flat, there is everything from yesterday and now you are bringing something new, your dinner, bought someplace on your way home. You sit on your usual couch and start eating your dinner while seeing your desk not far. Your sight is fixed on your folders, or hanging old sketch, or computer imagining several olds items you haven’t touched after these years.

Would you finish your dinner very soon and get up from your chair? Walk to your desk to see if there is something you could do to those old passions of yours? Or if there are no longer your passion, why would you still let them there not throwing them into trash can or store them in your attic, for instance? Or you prefer to take a good rest on this weekend, hiding behind your wall of well-made-up reasons that states your old passion won’t generate enough money you need to pay your monthly bills with? Or are you so tired to think about any possibility in which your old sketches may develop? Or do you rather save your energy so you can get back to work or something else on Monday?

Here I am sitting on a couch in living room looking through my drafts and sorting them out to see if there is something I may add to make my draft evolve into an article worth reading; while opening English and Deutsch dictionary because both of them are not my native language; while sipping my cup of tea without sugar.

Draft at 22 February 2015

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Carpe Diem

Carpe Diem, something people would say because today is present, yesterday is history, tomorrow is uncertainty. Something we all know to well and yet I don’t think people care about it very much. Seize the day might be understood by enjoying every minute there is given to you. In a prayer, one should give one’s full attention to Him because one is speaking to Him. Carpe Diem, they said. How would you seize the day without seizing a minute or two?

I focus and worry too much about future because I don’t want my past repeated.  I lost my sight over shallow coral reef that would breach front part of the ship because I was hoping that I wouldn’t miss the next lighthouse. After two years of sailing, I found myself in wrecked ship. Today is the third year I am on wide, vast ocean sailing along the wind, boarding on this same ship.

As I’m watching over clear sky and brutal wind coming from above, I come down and recheck my maps, nearest harbour to check in and restock provision, talking more with my crews and quartermaster. Carpe Diem, they said so I may avoid danger ahead without forgetting everything on the table today.

You have finished your calculation, Captain. Our destination has been marked and route has been decided including alternative passages should we meet undesirable condition on the sea. Although, there are not much alternatives for every wrong wind current. You may look forward to nearest harbour but we have our navigator watching our overall route. So, please stand steady now as we have a long journey ahead of us. Let us set sail, Captain. For there are gold and glory waiting for us at the end of the sea.

Aye. Let us set sail once again and hoping we may find our destination soon enough. Carpe Diem, so our future may not be disrupted by our current ignorance, so we may continue our journey.

A List: How To Live A Life In Silence

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Satisfaction of a List.”

Here is a list of rules I compiled after several years of living, if I may call it a living.

  1. Do not interfere with people’s business unless they ask you to.
  2. Do not break your promise if you are entrusted with any secret.
  3. Do not let yourself wide open so people may interfere with your affairs.
  4. Do not let anyone say anything about you in public, especially if what they say is true.
  5. Do not say anything about yourself, other people you know or not, at all.
  6. You may say something about other people either you know or not if only situation is direly dangerous to you, other people whom you talk about, national security, or health issue. However, stay in silence is preferable.
  7. Do not ask question in the open, ask your question when you are in private session with whom you want to ask.
  8. Do not mix personal issue with professional matter. If that can’t be helped, leave your current workplace, start somewhere else anew.
  9. Do not say you love something or someone in the open and directly to something or someone you love. Or even better, do not love anything or anyone. Just Do Not.
  10. Do not mingle the dust of angel and demon unless you want to create a being that love to wage an eternal war.

Okay, is this list long enough? I have some rules to follow in life I am living in but I wonder I can write them all in single list.

Good day.

Action & Reaction

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Karma Chameleon.”

Actually, I believe that karma exists, somehow. I picture karma like I imagine Newton’s third principle: action-reaction force. For some reason in which I firmly believe, everything I do today shall give effect on tomorrow, either big or small. So, if science indeed has proven karma is a thing, that alone won’t change anything.

Sometimes I imagine the opposite, if karma doesn’t exists; a universe where a being may do anything freely without considering any influence on its future self. How would people behave? Would they behave still respectfully or just without any thought at all? Would our world stay the same or become even worse since if someone does something wrong about the others, they wouldn’t even care because nothing bad shall come to them since karma doesn’t exist?

Oh well, given a fact that people are sometimes selfish, maybe you have guessed the answer already.

Dear You

Dear You of The Farthest Dream,

We met not long after we both got admitted at our own college. We met because of line of duty in rational capacities not emotional tendency. We met when you were busy managing foods and beverages for our guests while on each of our own task force. We met when lunch time came and I had no place to seat; you offered me once. We met when my right hand was arrogant, denying my humble request to eat.

We met in our task force when I was appointed to do the paperwork. We met on our table on someplace far when we couldn’t get to sit with the others. We met when you were eating fruits and milk while I was absorbed to my own selfish, childish book. We met when I was convincing you to go different way to get our friends faster but you wouldn’t listen. We met at laboratories when you often fell asleep while waiting your companion to arrive. We met in the same place when you required a seat you couldn’t find. We met when I was preparing my leave in silence.

We didn’t talk to each other as people would expect us to do, or I might be assuming. We had our pace different, separated, and carefully tended to not be into each other, or I might think that way. We held our heads down as we never exchange eye contact like people would normally do in broad daylight to their acquaintances. You sounded my name when we passed each other on the same street while I spelled yours by nodding my head.

Different experiences led us to walk different paths along with different societies. As we are dictated to not meet and walk on the same journey, I wonder what you have become after all these years. I have been only sensing rumors when you are busy capturing data for you research. While I am standing and actively being captive by these subtle neuron impulses and people’s chatters, you listen to our brethren speech in the most invigorating way possible.

I wonder why I was so determined to avoid any conversation with you. Even in my wildest dream about you, I always decide to go around alone without a companion of wolf pack.  Now you are going to places I have never been, chasing dream on this very broad daylight.

We might not meet again soon or at all but one possible occurrence of particular celebration should I be getting the invitation and have a formal tux. I wish next time we meet will be the last and then these memories will also fade away. I’ll do my part to get rid of this insanity and walk on this earth without ever knowing what has happened before.

I wish you a good and happy life. Adios.

Reality, April 4th 2015.