Going Around and Home

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Journey.”

I can’t say that I have been travelling a lot. The city where I live now is just about approx. 180 kilometers from my hometown if measured by road length. I have been here, in this foreign city for almost seven years since I did my college here and managed to have some works now. Although having been here for seven year, my identification card still shows that I am a citizen of my hometown so I do go back there shoud I have something to do with civil administration matters.

This is the city where I planned to forge myself into better condition, sharpen my dull mind and sense into keen, steady, and fine ones. This is where I set myself a goal: to start experiencing how to live on your own, using your own money, in your own affordable housing plan, at your own pace.

I have been going around for sure, exploring the wonder of this city, getting lost because I have no idea where and how to go, and sometimes trying some new, strange, yet delicious food found.  I grew to learn patience even more. Master Yoda once said,

“Patience you must have my young padawan.”

I really found some good learning materials from him, the Jedi Grandmaster. Patience of being kept at bay to stay on my ground, do what is necessary, and not to get them all and spend your time all at once. To learn how to let go of old passion, desire, and darkening emotions. As the Grandmaster would say,

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”

I took this in a broad way as I learned that when I have every emotion clouding my mind, only impulsive and risky decision shall I make. Everything has its end and once it ends, some of us decide to carry them in our bag. Overtime, it gets even heavier and stressful. To let go means to ease the burden on our shoulders and thus make us step lighter.

To stay humble, silent, and calm is what this life has tought me to do; to never trust and never betray anyone completely, to acknowlege that there is a contradiction, a paradox in every single detail of matters and it’s up to me to discover and understand all of them.

This struggle has tought me to love without ever hoping being loved back, to give without ever yearning of returning favors, to wish in complete darkness, and to dance under the sunshine, moonlight, or even just street lamps when the day is cloudy.

I found chances to practice how to smile when things get awful; passion meets dead ends; wishes don’t come true; friends take their leave, sometimes permanently. To know that there is time for everything, if you really look for it. To realize that wounds shall heal overtime but scars always leave traces to remember. To see that there are people standing and walking beside you, helping you by pointing out what you’re missing along the way, being your company when you need second, third, or even fourth opinion over breakfast, lunch, or even dinner.

This city offers me a time to redeem, absolve myself from chains of the past but not to completely overlook them. It offers me a time to find my lost, precious memories and regale them once again so I may understand and be able to let them go in peace. It offers me a time to open my eyes and see using outdated lenses and recognize moments using any other sense I have.

This city makes me realize that no matter how long, tiring, mind-consuming, physically-burning, the journey I have walked, when things get too tough, there is home. There is always home where you can rest, regroup, and plan on how to move forward again.

I have mine in just four hours and fair rate from city where I’m living. If you can’t find me anywhere, anytime, you are finding that I am away but I’ll always come back home. Always.

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