Mein Fehler

Ein Fehler.


Musst du dann diesen machen?

Warum soll ich nicht?

Weil es ein Fehler ist?

Keine Ahnung.


Descending Thunder

We talked a lot about the rain, didn’t we? Which area was getting showered lightly and which wasn’t?

I thought so but there was something more than that. Things I could never comprehend.

He turned his back to see the horizon. Someone had created a thunder clap. Something was getting closer. Lightning seemed to have a party at lower plains. The shower was getting heavier and it would surely disturb how well your eyes could see.

Do you see anything? The rain is obscuring my sight.

Maybe you should learn how to see without your eyes. And, yes. There is something. Thunder clap wouldn’t happened without someone making it. I’ll see you around. And, if you see that kid again, tell him go follow me, would you?

A second later he descended down the cliff to the hills and vanished.

Hey, Kid. He’s asking for you. Where have you been? Dead?

Sorry, dude. Stomach problem. You really can’t see anything, can you?

Quit joking. Of course I can. Why do you think I have already made a barrier even before you two showed up?

Yeah, yeah. Tell the village we love them, would you? Later.

And then the Kid also vanished. The rain was getting even heavier that you wouldn’t be able to see in five meters. The sound of thunder was deafening. It was louder than usual. Something was truly happening and he couldn’t sense anything completely. He wondered if the barrier was strong enough to hold such a massive atmospheric phenomenon.

See You Soon

Brings me back a bit. This is the song I used to tease my friend because of his interest in jazz. Well, I also like jazz a little. The lyrics, somehow, represents his romance with his classmate which the whole class knew. He would make annoyed expression if I talk about this song.

So, see you soon?


It was afternoon. I made a promise to meet some people. We would meet at city park. Afternoon during fall wouldn’t make a nice company. Temperature would decrease rapidly and you would begin to crave warmth from some hot drinks. Before that happened however, I had ordered my coffee brew and I waited them to appear while sitting calmly on park bench sipping from my cup while reading newspaper.

He was a nice man back in school. He often came to school early before any of us. He smiled a lot. I mean, he was easy to laugh and we really appreciated his helps on several matters during class. There were a few fights and misunderstanding but we always came to good conclusion and our friendship became normal again.

His demeanor, however, started to change during college when we rarely met. He rarely showed up in reunion. When we asked him about it, he simply said that we had different timeline. I didn’t know whether it was true but it seemed that he had his days off and began to get busy before any of us.

His eyes don’t show kindness anymore. We barely talked last reunion. Me and my partner here are sometimes welcomed with silence if not with short answer. The answer was correct, direct, and fine but it wasn’t just him. It was unusual for him to behave like that. I mean, why did he change that much?

He was friendly. I still remember when he encouraged me to make a proper proposal. It was years ago. He was almost there when I needed his strange, out of the box, and abnormal opinion.

However, when the day came, he was never in our picture together. After all the time he shouted at me to pursue what I dreamed dearly, he simply vanished. I don’t mean that he disappeared into thin air like a ghost. It’s just that I could call upon him. I might talk to him but he was never there. I heard his voice and read his writings but I couldn’t sense his self any longer.

The last thing he said to me is that he was terribly sorry for not being able to be in my picture. That picture is one of kind which I wish that I won’t need to take another picture like that. Just once for a lifetime.

Now that I’m away, I can’t talk to him any longer in person. I might know where he might be but I can’t guarantee that I might reach him. Why is it that he became a ghost like he is today?

Sometimes I wondered if he has any friend. For all I know, he is more like a lone, wounded wolf who cries during the night with his silence. I’ve seen him wandering around the calderas, forests, and markets. He always said that he has something to do before all else but I’ve never been able to comprehend his statements. He looks strong and yet weak, durable and yet fragile.

For those who talked to me about him, it was only my usual response that I asked them if they really are his friends. I have seen so many uneven transaction, weak questions that demands heavy answers. Such things might become a burden.

I might talk to him later about this matter. Don’t worry. You can’t find him the way I do because you are barely living in a place as same as he is. So, I’ll talk to you guys later? Oh, and by the way, this is your problem. I only convey what you want to say to him but you can’t reach him.

After that we concluded our conversation and they walked out the park. Personally, I don’t think that this matter is as complex as it seems. It just needs more time. Time will solve this condition eventually and if there is no more disturbances, I think he’ll be okay soon enough. If not then I might never find him anymore.

What a cold weekend, I said to myself as my cup draws empty. I took the last gulp and threw the cup to  trash bin nearby. Just after a few steps, I stopped and looked at the man before me. His expression is plain. He met me with gentle smile. His hands were inside his pockets because of almost-winter temperature, I presumed. I took it that he just got back from his ‘work’. Whatever that was. He never shared anything.

How could you know I’m here?

Care for a second coffee, brewmaster? Seems we haven’t had a chat for a little while. Don’t you think?

Sun was almost set. He was right to invite me for another coffee. He might have already known what those people said about him. I would tell him anyway and I was sure that he would simple give his smile as an answer. I also didn’t know what was wrong with this guy.


A friend once came to my house. He looked happy and strong since I knew his business was dong well. I welcomed him with a cup of tea and asked him how he was doing. As expected that much, he said okay. Later his expression changed drastically after I closed the door.

His face was wearing off bearing countless scars. His hands, I observed, had become even more sturdy. I asked him to hang his coat on somewhere and then I saw such fine armor full of scratch. I barely recognized my handcrafts ages ago. I was surprised he still used it. I never thought he’d be still wearing that armor. I thought countless battles would make it shambled?

These are fine armor you gave me, old smith. No wonder you have that title along with the other smiths. He flattered me, I said. I understood long journey had to be his. From capital to a little village on the farthest border of the country. His horse might be tired and so might he. I told him to let his helm put somewhere else. I disliked people who wear armor while dining.

People prey on not only animal, chief. Human preys the other human, that’s for sure. I reckoned that was what knights did for a living. Killing other human beings in the name of their beloved king and country was what they did best. Even when dining, having breakfast, or cooking lunch, you can’t help yourself but being more careful. Chief, if people see you being weak, you might fall. Don’t you think hunting the weakened prey is the easiest? I still didn’t like it and told him not to wear armor. My disciple would clean and polish them. He agreed and we proceed to dinner.

The world has gone cold, old friend, where friends are hard to come by, betrayal is on our daily newspaper, blood is spilled everywhere. You expect me to bring nothing against the world? Right, I don’t have any right to judge people wearing armor for protection. After dinner, I gave him back his set of armor and a pair of swords. Schwertmeister, wie er sollt diese zu machen. And I set him off again.

I find it hard these days to uncover people’s true intentions. Most of them wear mask, and sometimes multiple masks. If you don’t want people discover your intention, why do you appear in public? Why do you not just retire to deep, hidden forest and live quietly? I guess that kind of living isn’t suitable for everyone. Don’t you think, old friend?

Warm regards,

A Run Worth Running

Once I had talked to a friend of mine about almost everything; running, aiming, shooting, even choosing a rifle. This person had a peculiar taste to a bolt-action rifle and some sidearms. I always said that using bolt actions would be a problem in frontlines but I always got smile as an answer.

This person ran around on behind enemy lines undetected and was always ready when chief called. About the chief, he hand-picked my friend from a rifle division. He said that he needed someone who protected people from behind, and answered orders with no question asked. He also said that he required someone expandable. I never really understood the meaning of being expandable other than having plenty replacement if current one died or went missing in action. Is that risk worth taking for?

Years later I left the army and continued my steps as civilian. I managed to begin a new life in another continent, a beauty one at that. Since laying on this warm and calming land, I had never heard of this soldier again. Maybe, this peculiar soldier had died or got released from duty. Or so I thought until I caught a glimpse of one of its different shadows.

Maybe, I had seen this soldier behind the last pier waiting for a ship to dock, or standing on top of several famous towers in town, or having late dinner in caffee nearby while doing something with that smart phone. Or maybe, I was only daydreaming regaling the good old times when we were drinking buddies singing in a circle around a campfire.

What’s in there, darling? Are you seeing something up there? She asked me later since I thought I was watching the famous tower for too long. I turned to her and shook my head while holding her hands. We walked home afterwards. Sometimes, I looked around for a while for the air and calming breeze of spring. I still wished to see this soldier again, that if this tough, smiley, uncanny bastard still lived.

Well, I think I’ll leave it for now and, maybe, forever. This cunning soldier will find me if necessary or maybe that long caliber rifle has been perfected now that it isn’t necessary to have someone standing in frontlines. I have got myself a big responsibility, a clever, amazing, and beauty one at that. Besides, that delicious schokoladen torte won’t eat itself, will it?

People have different course and they run differently. I had my run with that bastard long ago and now I’m running with someone different. I can’t really care to someone else’s matter now but only a little. Maybe that little sidearms and rifle are worth company after all.

A Ghost: Prologue

Midnight was windy. One tightened its coat and walked fast through an alley to home. The train was late and crowded as one could not get some sleep while being there. It didn’t get a chance to wear watch and so the timekeeper had to be its cellphone. It wore black trousers, socks, and shoes. Dark blue was its long-sleeved shirt. It had grey jacket covered with another dark blue jacket. One ought to wear two layers if night was like that day, it thought.

The cellphone was small and a bit difficult to get it charged properly. One grabbed the other and plugged the 3.5mm jack to get some audio on. Something about the clouds and thunder made signal response turned bad. In such bad weather, one could not expect to get a proper audio broadcast. The backpack was medium built, black, and had a pair of wing-like patterns on it. It was old enough to have strengthened its legs and start walking on its own.

One arrived at this town. Empty terminals, wide open road, fewer people on sidewalk, and smell of dust combined with smoke were ones who greeted one’s arrival. One’s journey was short and yet heavy. Burdens it carried had not been released since years as face grew paler in light of street lamps as hands and palms grew colder.

There was a kiosk on the sidewalk selling moonlight cake. It had been one of its favorite kind of meal overnight. The order was cheese-chocolate and the chef did his duty smoothly. Das smeckt gut, one thought. The price was paid and then the cake was hanging on its hands. One continued walking towards the of the alley to the main road and turned right, entering a complex where someone had been waiting.

The one who waited started the engine and went away. It was a mere moment past midnight on Wednesday. One had grown tired and craved for some sleep.